MiConfession

I have made many parenting faux pas in my life. If I shared them all I would never stop typing. I am sure if I asked my children for examples of my parenting mistakes it would shut down the internet. My parenting can be summed up as the good, the bad and the ugly. 

My goal was to be a better parent than my own. I was going to do everything my parent’s failed to do. One of my objectives was to ensure that my children had everything I did not. That objective included making sure they had the opportunity to receive the best education EVER. Unfortunately for them, I had the bright idea that this goal would be met in part by homeschooling them.

For some “kookoo-for-cocoa puff” reason I believed that I could provide a better learning environment than the public-school system could ever offer my babies. But alas, I eventually learned that teaching was a calling and it was NOT calling me.

I had many rough days – I am sure my children believe that all their homeschooling days were rough.

I recall one day in particular where my son would not set still no matter how many times I asked him to. Before I realized what was happening I snapped –  I saw red, the earth stood still, there was no oxygen – and I slapped my son into another ‘shade’ of obedience.

I felt horrible – my son sat there with a stunned look on his face and tears in his eyes and my daughter had such a look of fear. It was an UGLY parenting day.

While I would like to think that surely something else must have been going on in my life for me to lose it like that, I have to admit that this was not my only ‘ugly’ day. I made a lot of ‘snap-slap’ decisions which were for the most part attributed to my own inadequacies, impatience and fear.

It is mindboggling to me that my children were not permanently scarred – although the lack of response to my texts, phone calls, emails, chats and/or tweets might be an indicator that there was SOME negative emotional impact from my parenting faux pas.

I wish I could start over – there’s so much I would do differently.

I would enjoy being a parent more – it went by so fast. I would worry less about a clean house and concentrate more on creating adventures to stretch their imagination. I would criticize less and encourage more. I would find ways for them to see themselves as God sees them –  so that they would have the confidence they needed to stand-up against peer pressure.  I would love them more and mold them less. I would encourage their creativity and let them know they were only limited by the courage of their imagination.

Since I cannot rewrite history, I have asked God to remove any scars created by my imperfect parenting. (Psalm 147:3)

I am so thankful God has the final say and not my parenting faux pas. (Jeremiah 1:3 – 4)